Alright, thought i'd get back into the swing of things and begin blogging again.
One of the main reasons beeing is that my speling is apauling.

That will be the only crap joke of this affair, believe it.

It is all that has been in circulation on the Social Networking demonic this past week and has now eventually reached the print press and the television. It's Titanic - in my eyes the beautiful tragedy, such a breathtaking structure involved in what can only be described as one of the most tragic incidents excluding the dual World Wars that we will ever hear of. If only the Greek Empire were around to witness these encounters. I am sure that Zeus would certainly stick up his thumb as if he was hitching a ride to "Meh-he-co."
(Edit: Okay, maybe I lied about it being the only joke)

A couple of McVities finest Digestives and a mug of Kenco later and I see that we are a few days prior to the centennial anniversary of the Titanic incident.

What I may say at this current time is possibly not the Peoples Choice this week. However, please read on. I believe that the release of Titanic back into the cinema-houses may be one of the worst James Cameron decisions that has ever been made. (Well, other than the decision to release Avatar - which is the highest grosser at the box office we have ever seen. Yet it has no spinal narrative, only one mans vision after spurning copious amounts of acid on a daily basis. )

On a serious note though, I do have several reasons for why I am against such an atrocity.

I would also just like to mention that I did enjoy the first release of this film back in 1997, even though it is rather sensationalised. So people, don't start throwing your desk cacti at my already severely distorted face.

Okay so first off the bat, who really wants to see Kate Winslets pert Everests in Three Dimensions? Holy fuck I have heard about abstract art, but this just takes structuralism to an entire new level. What appears to be a film about the Titanic all of a sudden becomes a documentary about the pyramids as soon as Winslet gets her kit off, thus forth confusing the entire fucking audience and building up hopes that they will indeed see the Pharaoh riding on the boat. But but if at least not Pharaoh maybe a fucking cat? No fucking cat.......Alright then.

Secondly, this man is making a lot of fucking money. Again, this man is making a lot of fucking money. Now I am all for Capitalism moreso than communism. But he is getting all this revenue - from may I add your hard earned pounds and pence, to re-iterate a story that has been told before. But this time will take the same characteristics of the world-renowned sequel Titanic II.

What?

Yes, that's right. They made a sequel to Titanic. Some B-Lister director who is the son of great actor Dick Van Dyke had the greatest idea to direct a sequel (he also stars the lead role. 3 Letters - EGO.) Heres the kicker narrative - The boat sets sail in Apr 2012, and then WOOP-de-DOOP fucking sinks. Great fucking story Shane Van Dyke. I'll call up the Queen. You deserve an OBE.

Titanic 3D has about the same merit of it's "much loved" sequel. At no point when management were re-mastering the footage from the original movie, can any of that management say they were thinking about the story. It's all about the razz-ma-tazz these days and I am fucking fed up of people idolising Michael Bay. Titanic 3D takes the dearest of memories and stories that are held by many families (including my family) and are now commercialising it - in order to make a few bob before the price of oil goes up in America.

Cameron - you're a fucking disgrace. For you to say that you are inspired by the works of Stan Kubrick makes me chuckle more than anything. Because I know that if SK was still alive - he would be taking a big streaky piss all over your film that you have in my books - just buried at the bottom of the ocean.

Rant Over. Thanks for reading.

WINSLET FOR PHaRAOH.

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"BIG ISSUE?"
"COULD YOU SPARE ANY CHANGE?"
"DONATE. DOSH. WONGA. READIES. CASH. THE GREEN OF YOUR MONEY"


The very whittled down versions of terminology that makes the human brain panic and either veer its outer self to one side, or decline the offer and any acknowledgement by these workers.


Here is a small story, on the way back this evening from some birthday drinks for a friend. I was approached by a rather well built man from the Caribbean, timid as a mouse and apologised to my company before asking if I could help him. I have never met someone so genuine. I have never seen a grown man cry like I did this evening, and I found somewhat distressing. I hope that he used the money that was given to him to get himself a warm coffee and hopefully get his head on track. 


Many people state that giving to the Homeless is pointless, that all they are interested in is spending it on the coldest, hardest trip that our hard earned cash can buy. Such a shame that a few rotten eggs have ruined the perception of millions nationwide. There are truly people who require our help and I think it's our duty to help out if we can spare it. We all manage to fund Children in Need without fail once a year, even though I believe not all that money is reaching the correct places.

Interesting to note why though? Because we get something out of it? A Television Bonanza of celebrities making a total mockery of themselves for a little cash. Is the notion of passing some cash onto someone who truly needs it not enough for us?
Interesting to note. I'd love some feedback. Please.


On another notes. Jeremy Clarkson.


Nobody cares anymore Jeremy, we can blatantly see that you are pushing the boundaries of your "apparent comedy", but this off the cuff gaff that you're trying to showcase through a car show is just pure pathetic. 
You've pretty much insulted everybody on the face of the earth now other than the typical middle-class white man. Here's your shovel Jez.
Happy Digging.


Cheers then.

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RAPE. MURDER. WAR. SENTENCING. DEATH. POVERTY. MONEY. GREED.
The key words of the modern news website/reporting.

I challenge you to find a news website or article these days that doesn't cover one of these topics or not even mention one of these key words.
Makes me want to project vomit over everything.
BBC, ITV, SKY and all you bad-ass Media Platforms out there -

I invite you to construct a decent News Format where you are not JUST filling our heads with all this unsavoury propaganda, but you are also following some of the good stories in life about Real People.

and I'm not talking actors informing us of their movie-scripted life in which "Grandmother Teresa died and thats why I want to be who I want to be" X-Factor heart-throb edits (VOMIT)

I'm talking non-sensationalistic news about real people doing real good things with their lives.
THERE ARE PLENTY. GET THEM EYES OPEN. You closed-minded wizards.

Cheers then.

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I have been thinking alot about Disney's greatest addition to the Film Industry recently - The Lion King.
I watched it on the weekend and it's really got me thinking about things.


Such as the thought and concept of adapting it to our modern day society.


Because let's face it the Lions that should be the Lions of this country are actually the Elephants, and as the Elephants they bow to Lions that should never of been Lions in the first place.


Lions that are only Lions because they have earned alot of money.


I mean let's face it, if you're a gazelle with a lot of money. You're a wealthy gazelle, you can't just become a Lion and change everything about you and who you were just because of your wealth. That is a scientific impossibility. You normally find that the Wealthy Gazelle's show their true embodiments sometimes as Weasels anyway.


As you can see, I have watched and thought about the Lion King too much.


But you sit and think about it. The elephants and the lions sit around saying Hakuna Matatta whilst the kingdom falls apart.


Cheers then.

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A little poetry that I wrote whilst under the influence of my good ol' friend - Dark Rum

A Phone Call with Morrissey in Bristol.


"Take Me Out Tonight?" yells Morrissey to me down the phone.
I know he doesn't care for where we go, but I also have no place to go.
Do I attempt the "Go Folk Yourself" event at Start the Bus?
Or an evening embracing Propaganda at Syndicate?
I try to think of ideas as I sit on a hillside fixing the puncture on a bicycle so desolate.

I'd received the puncture waiting outside the Cemetery Gates
For Keats or Yates, and neither did show.
Bigmouth Strikes Again when I tell him that I have no idea where to go.
I've claimed that I'm Still Ill and that I would rather spend the evening in bed.
"I don't wish you an Unhappy Birthday, Mozza! Godspeed to you!"
From this phone call I fled, wheeling my bicycle around the fountain.

Hopefully I didn't offend him too much.


Thankyou

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A documentary.
Our first piece of work.
That I was so privileged to be in the crew of.


David Thomas - The Balding Welsh Man.
Listen to his dreams, aspirations and then finally his realities.


Four minutes of goodness.


Enjoy.


Click Here for Full Circle

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A Sceptic's Point of View.


DIARY ENTRY with a Hint of Metaphorical Poetry. Oof you Lucky Lot!


Quite neat when you think about it really.
"A Foley artists dream" one said on the Social Networks this morning.


11/11/11 at 11:11 and 11 seconds.


I guess people were expecting another meteorite to hit today. 
The irony of the world ending on a day that we commemorate the life of the millions that lost theirs for our freedom, is just too much for me to bear.


I'm not a fan of war, if I'm honest. But let's face it - Society 80 plus years ago was certainly a lot different. Families had modernist values, and men being the "alpha" specimen were all too ready to get out there and kill another man. This may be a poor judgement call but I can't get to grips with that.


People should be remembered however - for the fact that they died for our freedom. I am not highly big on the Nazi Manifesto if I'm totally honest. So I am glad what was fought for was won. 


But the propaganda that existed back in the mid-1940's as a walking advertisement to get Men to enlist themselves to "FIGHT FOR YOUR COUNTRY" (a phrase that is so overused it makes me want to throw up)  exists today, on a grander scale. 


It is sat in every household with the families watching television, in any newspaper or magazine that is sat on the shelf in the local big-name branded supermarket, with it's eldest son - Prejudice.


They walk around together. Watching each others backs, like a real father/son relationship. The irony of that is of course however, they make it to the Jeremy Kyle set every morning at around half past eight for Jam and Crumpets in the Green Room, before the show goes live at Nine-Twenty-Five. 


Many say they are the shamans of the world - this telekinetic father/son relationship. Just one touch of either and it is embedded with you for your entire life.


On that note. TRUST YOUR COUNTRY. THEY WILL LOOK AFTER YOU. WE PROMISE.


Happy Armistice!

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